Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Why I Need an Adventure, Not a Vacation

A weird thing happens when you become a twenty-something. So many exciting events you've always imagined start to become real possibilities: graduating college, unknowingly bumping into your soulmate at Starbucks, interviewing for your dream career, or finally realizing what your dream career actually is. All of that settling down, light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel stuff is finally here! The moment that realization hits you is the beginning of the most restless, untethered feeling you've ever had.

What in the world qualified me to make any of the decisions I'm about to have to make? How am I supposed to know where I want to work? How could anyone my age know where they want to live? How could anyone in the world know the one place where they want to have a family?! That's making a decision for people who don't even exist yet! No, this is insane. I refuse to make all of these choices with the limited scope I've always had.

I became a different person when I started living and working in San Francisco. It's difficult to imagine sticking with the same options I had before now that I'm finally in my own skin. I might finally be the person I'm supposed to be, but this person feels at lot less at home here. Most people assume this restlessness can be solved by temporary escape. They'll prescribe a vacation and tell me to go lay on a beach and relax for a couple of days. The sentiment is nice, but the end game is wrong. I don't need to know where to be for the weekend, I need to know where to be for the rest of my life. My kids won't be raised at a resort in Cabo, and my career won't peak at a poolside bar. Home will be where my whole heart feels like it's on an adventure - invigorated, on fire, and at ease all at the same time. I'm not expecting to get it right on the first try, but I have a feeling New York City is a good place to start the hunt...

Follow my adventure with #NewYearNewYork! It'll be well-documented, I promise.

[To be clear, I do have awesome friends who are getting married and having kids right now. They are the bravest and most prepared people I know, and I firmly believe that they already know who they are. They didn't need any extra time or help and for that I will always be proud of them. <3]

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